Dear Lizzie

Dear Lizzie:

Not sure if, or when, you’ll see this, or appreciate it, but I think this is somewhat selfishly more for me than you. Time is passing by so quickly, so amazingly, frighteningly, quickly, that I want to get this down while it still fits. As I gradually see things we have always done fade into the past, as you grow taller, grow up, the sense I need to hold to every single moment just gets stronger and stronger.

You are an amazing, brilliant little girl, although even now the little seems a bit dated. So smart, so kind, so thoughtful… if I could have listed all of the qualities I wanted my child to have, you would have all of them, and then some. You are so artistic, happiest when you are creating; I see that in my family, but I guess it skipped me. Fortunately for all of this, it came out, and then some, in you. The things you make are always amazing; I know part of that is a proud father talking, but only a very small part. Another, bigger part is the love that is in all of it; you make these things because you love to, and because you want the people you give them to to know that you love them. Just the other day, when we pulled out our Christmas decorations and the “Family” plaque you made was in there, it struck me again how special you are; not an infrequent occurrence, of course, but that was one of the more notable times it hit me.

Two huge things struck me this past weekend, as well, two signs that you are growing up (and up and up and up!) The first was a physical thing; we went to leave, and you very casually, easily, unlocked the front door, on that deadbolt way up near the top of the door. I remember how little you were when we moved in, how far away that lock seemed from your little hand, and it makes me a little sad. Once again we had the “you need to stop growing” conversation, one that we both know the silliness of, but I don’t think you get how serious I am when I say it. Of course I want you to grow up, I can’t wait to see the amazing person you are going to grow into, but part of me just wants to keep you how you are, every time I see you. I will never forget the time we had that conversation, and you told me: Daddy, I’m going to keep growing, but I’ll always be your little girl.” So true, so poignant… and in a way, so sad.

The other thing that struck me was one of those small details, something you probably didn’t notice in the moment. Every time we send you to go get ready for bed, put your pajamas on, you grab my hand and bring me with you. I know you don’t need the help getting ready, but I think it’s just one of those little daddy-Lizzie things that you like… and I love. This past Friday, I sent you to get ready for bed, and off you went. No pause, no reaching for my hand, you just went and got ready. I don’t know if it will be a trend, or just a one-off, but the day will come, and possibly soon, where that will be how it is. You will be too big, too grown-up, to have your Dad (not Daddy, Dad) help you change. The closer that day gets, and I know it’s not too far away now, the more I dread it.

It’s funny, as I sit here writing this a customer at Starbucks I know well stopped to chat, and he is off to join his daughter to celebrate her 27^th Birthday. We had a brief conversation about how quickly time passes, and he brought up that day in the future when boys will enter the picture… I shut that down in a hurry. I know it will come, way too fast, but I’d rather not think about it for now.

There are times where I think you recognize what I’m talking about here, and even feel the same way yourself. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking, but every time you throw yourself on me, or want to be picked up like you always have, it hits me; I’m probably the only person still doing that. You are too big to be picked up, to be carried by your mom these days, and you seem to miss it; the times I pick you up and you snuggle in, arms and legs dangling because you are so big, I sense that you don’t want that to be in the past any more than I do. I promise you, I’ll continue as long as I can… I hope that my ability to carry outlasts your need to be carried. I’ll do my best.

In a way, I guess that sentiment sums up what I’m trying to say here: I’ll do my best. I’m one of the lucky few that has had a father (and a mother) that I knew I could always count on, no matter what. Everyone deserves that in life, but so few actually get it; you will. I can’t fix everything, the fact that you are still making monthly visits to Children’s removed that idea from my head, but you will never have to wonder if I love you, if you are important to me. I think that is already obvious to you, it seems to be, but I promise you a lifetime of the same. It is exactly what you deserve.

I love you Magoo

Daddy

If You Let Me Play

The first time I came across Nike's "If You Let Me Play" ad campaign was in the mid-1990s, when my mom came home from a teaching conference with this poster. The print on the poster is difficult to read in this image, but its text has a simple, yet extremely powerful, message. The text reads:

If You Let Me Play

I will like myself more

I will have more self-confidence

I will suffer less depression

I will be 60% less likely to get breast cancer

I will be more likely to leave a man who beats me

I will be less likely to get pregnant before I want to

I will learn what it means to be strong

If you let me play sports.

Soon after I saw the poster, I saw the television ad for the first time. It reiterated the message from the poster, with a very simple, powerful format... no music, no effects, just little girls looking into the camera and telling the audience how to make their lives better. Here is the television commercial:

Growing up with parents who coached a number of sports, and three sisters who all played university sports, I saw first-hand the power of sport. My sisters are all strong, grounded women, and I firmly believe that growing up playing sports has contributed to that.

The issue became even more important to me when my daughter was born; I fully intended that she be given the opportunity to play sports. Her options down that road became somewhat limited a couple of years ago, however, when she was diagnosed with a blood disorder that greatly restricts her blood's ability to clot. Any sort of contact sport went out the window at that point in time; still, there are a number of sports that she can take part in, including tennis and swimming, and I am determined that she will be able to play sports, if she chooses.

Using a number of the resources we have touched upon over the length of this course, I am going to go into some detail about how and why these ideas are important for children, especially females.

TAGXEDO

I first used the transcript of the television commercial to complete a word web, using the website http://www.tagxedo.com/. It's not the first word-web site I have come across (http://www.wordle.com/) is another good one, but it is the easiest to use; in fact, my wife used it to create a number of birthday cards for friends, within days of being shown the site.User-friendly, and extremely useful as well.

I was extremely happy with how this web turned out... the words I wanted were highlighted, and I think the intended message is the one that comes through.

BODY IMAGE AND AVATARS

In today's world, we are constantly assaulted by images that show what a woman is 'supposed' to look like: rail thin, scantily dressed, and usually highly sexualized. Even as women's rights are in many ways at an all-time high, expectationson women are in the same spot; today's women holds down a full-time job, manages her home and her family, and looks great doing it. That is the standard that is being held up, and the fact that it is a construction not based in reality does not matter; if you are not Martha Stewart in the body of Brooklyn Decker, then what is wrong with you? You still look like you had a baby 2 months after your child was born? Do you not care about yourself? It's no wonder that anorexia is at an all-time high, along with divorce rates. We are a society where Kim Kardashian and Paris Hilton, while universally mocked, are also universally held up to be admired: stupid, shallow, beautiful women who are famous for... well, for being rich and stupid, really.

That image of what a woman, or girl, should look and dress like is everywhere, can not be escaped. Even animated images of women look like them; this became clear when we tried to create avatars for this class. Liz complained that all of her avatars from one site were inappropriate to use, and she was not joking. I went into IMVU to create an avatar, and every option they had was young, beautiful, thin, and underdressed. Here was the finished product I ended up with..

This image of what a female is supposed to look like is absolutely horrifying ; the thought that in a few years my 6-year old daughter will be dressing like this, wanting to look like this, terrifies me. I have to do my best to instill in her a sense of self-confidence, a sense of self-esteem that will ensure that even as she goes through the pressure and drama of her teenage years, she has learned enough to make the right decisions, decisions that I will be unable to make for her, at least actively.

ATHLETES AS ROLE MODELS

I have always come out very strongly in opposition to the idea that athletes should be held to a higher standard of behaviour than society in general; a society where Kobe Bryant or Terrell Owens are held up as the standard we should try to emulate is one that is in serious trouble.

That said, there are certainly facets of almost every professional athlete that can be admired, and taken to heart. To become the best in the world at anything, not matter how talented one is, takes years of hard work and dedication to your craft, whatever that craft may be. Kobe Bryant can be admired for how hard he has worked at his game, for his determination to be the best basketball player ever, even as his off-court problems can be condemned.

Within the same context, there are many female athletes who can be admired by girls young and old for certain things that they do, and do well. Serena Williams has done some regrettable things in her life, but she has also succeeded in a sport that is historically almost entirely rich and caucsasian, despite coming from a low-income, African-American family. As well, she has shown the world that it is possible to be muscular, strong, and sexy, blowing away many stereotypes in the process. I see the downside of this, as well... she, like many others, has been seen as a sexual object, but I would certainly rather my daughter attempt to become strong, fit and sexy than to starve herself to be seen as attractive. Mia Hamm, to me, is one of those few athletes who deserves the title of role model; intelligent, classy, a great ahtlete, if you are going to emulate an athlete you could do far worse than her.

I included both of these women in my next artifact; a Glogster page (http://www.glogster.com/). While not the easiest site to work with, there were a number of handy, interesting tools in this site, and I am happy with the finished product.

The third woman I included on the Glogster page is not nearly as famous as either of the first two, but the story is a lot more personal to me. Kaila Mussell is the younger sister of an old friend of mine, a woman who I first met when she was 12 years old. She has since become the first female saddle-bronc rider in North America, and was featured in a music video by country legend Reba McEntire. I knew her as a strong (physically and mentally), determined teenager; she has obviously kept all of those qualities as she has grown up.

Here is the Glogster page:

http://jasonwatson.glogster.com/glog-9455/

YOUTUBE SEARCHSTORIES

I came across this tool a few months ago, when it was used to make fun of a certain former Vancouver Canuck. While the first one I saw was very funny, I certainly saw its potential to be used in a more serious way. I plugged a number of the ideas from the Nike commercial, and after a little playing around I was happy with the end product; you can also choose your own music, from a number of options. These mini-movies can be created at http://www.youtube.com/user/SearchStories.

VANCOUVER YOUTH SPORTS

Finally, I have included links to a number of kids' sports programs across Vancouver. We are in an area where virtually any and every sport is available for children, but it can sometimes be difficult to find a starting point; well, here it is.

Golf:

BC Golf Junior Links: http://www.bcgolfpages.com/juniorgolf.php

Soccer:

Vancouver Youth Soccer Association: http://www.vysa.ca/ Burnaby Girls Soccer Club: http://www.burnabygirlssoccerclub.com/

Tennis:

Tennis BC Schools Program: http://www.tennisbc.org/community/schoolsprogram Kitsilano Community Centre Tennis Lessons: http://www.kitscc.com/activity/child/outdoor-sports

Basketball:

Steve Nash Youth Basketball League: http://www.snyb.ca/ RBL Youth Basketball: http://www.rblbasketball.ca/

Hockey:

Vancouver Minor Hockey Association: http://www.vmha.com/leagues/homeVMHA.cfm?leagueID=0&clientID=3957&link=VMHA

Swimming:

Vancouver Parks and Rec Swimming Lessons: http://vancouver.ca/parks/rec/pools/lessons.htm

Baseball:

Baseball BC Youth Leagues: http://www.baseball.bc.ca/leagues.php

Gymnastics

Vancouver Phoenix Youth Gymnastics: http://www.vancouveryouth.ca/node/507

Volleyball

Volleyball BC: http://www.volleyballbc.ca/